Walking to the gym last night, I saw two women carrying colorful sombreros, which made me realize that when Cinco de Mayo falls on a Monday, Cinco de Mayo (observed) is the previous Saturday. (The effect was somewhat ruined when the ladies walked into the twee sushi restaurant on my block to begin their Cinco de Mayo reverly.)

Nonetheless, it reminded me to update the list of official drinking holidays, those days on the calendar that beer and costume marketers have co-opted to give 20somethings the permission to get drunk while wearing a costume of some sort. Here’s your handy reference:

12. Festivus (the new Great American Smokeout) 

11. The Great American Smokeout (the new Mardi Gras)

10. Mardi Gras (the new Starbucks Free Coffee Day)

9. Starbucks Free Coffee Day (the new Ben & Jerry’s Free Cone Day)

8. Ben & Jerry Free Cone Day (the new New Year’s Eve)

7. New Year’s Eve (the new Arbor Day)

6. Arbor Day (the new Purim)

5. Purim (the new Cinco de Mayo)

4. Cinco de Mayo (the new Halloween)

3. Halloween (the new St. Patrick’s Day)

2. St. Patrick’s Day (the new Thanksgiving)

1. Thanksgiving

A toast to the amateurs!